Perfect Pie Crust

Pie crust isn’t difficult. It’s not tricky. You can do this. I believe in you. 

You don’t need any special equipment. I used to use a food processor to make mine but then I accidentally killed my food processor making cheese balls last Christmas (rest in peace, food processor. I’m sorry I burned up your little motor.)  You don’t need a food processor. 

The fat is the most important part of the crust because that’s where the flavor and the flake is created. This recipe uses half lard and half butter. 

If you don’t have lard, this recipe will work just fine with all unsalted butter. But really, get the lard. It’s cheaper than butter, it’s great for seasoning cast iron, it makes lovely biscuits, and it supports local farmers. 

Go right now and look on Facebook marketplace and find some nice lady selling lard from the hog they processed. I’ll wait. 

Got the lard now? Good. Now you’re ready for business. Your great granny would be so proud. 

Things this recipe calls for that might raise an eyebrow: an egg and a tablespoon of vinegar. You want that bit of protein and that bit of acid. That’s where the razzle dazzle magic happens. 

There are your precautions and warnings. Time for pie. 

The Nuts and Bolts : 

2 1/2 c. all purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 Tbsp sugar

1/2 c. lard

1/2 c. (rock hard, ice cold) unsalted butter

1/2 c cold water

1 egg

1 Tbsp vinegar (plain or apple cider)

The Process :

Mix the flour, salt, and sugar. Start mixing the lard in with your fingers - do this by squashing little bits of it into the flour. You want it to look like you’ve got a bunch of little lumps in your flour. Lumpy flour is the goal. 

Then you add the cold butter cut into tablespoons. You’re gonna smoosh these too. You want your fingers good and floured - no greasy fingers allowed. You’re just smashing the butter into the flour. Lumps are good - just keep them bean sized. 

If you over work the butter, you won’t have good flaky layers - you’ll have more of a crispy flat crust, which might be fine for some things but isn’t ideal for pie crust. Trust the process. Embrace the lumps. 

Whisk up that egg with the cold water and the vinegar. Dump it in. All of it. 

Combine your lumpy flour and your egg liquid, and make sure there aren’t any dry pockets. It isn’t going to look perfect yet - it’s going to seem a bit too wet and soft. That’s ok. As long as there are no dry spots, all your dough needs now is a nice long rest. Why it needs to rest when you’re the one doing all the work is beyond me, but give it a good rest. 

If you’re in a hurry : 2 hours in the fridge, covered in a towel. If you’re taking your time, let it sit overnight wrapped in plastic wrap. I’m not a fan of plastic wrap - except when it comes to pie crust. Protect that dough baby at all costs and keep it from drying out. 

I always let mine sit overnight - and it’s fine if you don’t get to it for a couple days, too. 

When the dough is resting, the flour continues to hydrate and it becomes easier to work with. 

This will make two regular pie crusts (or one double crust. Or several tiny tarts. Or six really fat pot pies. Or 8 hand pies.  Your mileage may vary.)

Rolling tips : use plenty of flour. Make a mess. Go crazy. Better a floury kitchen than a pie crust stuck down to your counter because you were being DEMURE with your flour usage. Cold dough. Well floured counter AND ROLLING PIN. 

Work in steps. Flatten it out a bit, flip it over, flour its bottom, REPEAT. Nothing sticky - nothing forced. We’re easing the pie crust into existence. Don’t spook it by going too fast. Nice and easy. 

After you roll out your pie crust : get it in the pie pan and get it back in the fridge! The poor dear has had a terrible time and she needs time to rest. AGAIN. I’d give the old girl at least an hour. 

You need the dough relaxed and chilled. Otherwise, a hot oven is going to cause it to shrink up. Nobody wants to see a pie whose edges slid down while it was baking. SAD. 

Perfect pie crust isn’t quick. But my goodness it’s delicious…